Have yourself a love-filled Christmas

 

By Veronika Sophia Robinson

 

So, it’s all around us now: the tinsel, the wrapping paper, the push to buy, buy, buy and get yourself into more debt. It’s the way of our Western world.

 

I will never use a credit card again, and for this reason I am not able to be sucked into the commercialisation of Christmas, and to feel that I have to buy presents for everyone I know. However, as parents, Paul and I have always kept this celebration low-key anyway, and about it’s about how we spend our TIME as a family, not how much money we can spend.

 

Christmas shopping is just another example of how we can get sucked into cultural expectations rather than going inward and asking ‘what does this holy day mean to me?’ Even if we don’t celebrate as a Christian, we can bring meaning and reverence for the Solstice to our celebrations. Again, this does not have to involve debt.

 

One thing that has become quite common amongst people wanting to live an ethical life is the idea of buying Fairtrade or something ethical, and therefore feeling that your shopping is justified. It’s easy to do, and very easy to feel good when you buy such things.

 

I read a quote the other day which really had me thinking a lot. It was from the book by Mark Boyle called The Moneyless Manifesto, and he asked ‘if a rapist used a Fairtrade condom does that make his rape ethical?’ Now, you and I both know the answer to that! Of course it doesn’t, and the author wasn’t suggesting it did, just posing a question.

 

So, whenever I purchase a Fairtrade item from now on, I will ask myself, how does this make my actions ethical?

 

Is there any real answer to ethical gift giving? Like anything in life, you have to follow your conscience. Personally, I like the idea of hand-made, locally-sourced gifts. I prefer the idea of gifts being made from a sustainable source, too. And, if it’s not hand-made, I prefer to shop locally from an independent business owner.

 

When you love or feel affection for someone, it is natural to want to express that through a gift. Somehow, though, we’ve come to equate that the cost of a gift is reflective of the depth of feeling we have for someone.

 

How would Christmas look to you if you adopted the motto of ‘less is more’? What would Christmas look like to you if you had a budget of £50? What would you spend it on?

 

If, like me, there are a lot of people in your life that you feel love and affection for, it can be overwhelming to even know where to start. Do you send cards to everyone you like? How do you give gifts to everyone? The short answer is: you don’t.

 

The idea of gift giving generated from the idea that we’re celebrating the birth of baby Jesus. The gifts were an expression of celebrating his birthday. Many people ‘do’ Christmas not because they’re Christian or live in what is considered a Christian country, but because they’ve been culturally indoctrinated and have possibly never given any thought to why ‘they’ themselves do it.

 

How many of us have received gifts from people who gave them because they felt they should? I wonder how different the celebration of Christmas would be if the only gift we gave was to ourselves? I don’t suggest this as a selfish act, but as one which might cut down on all the waste in this world. If you gave yourself a gift that truly meant something to you, then it would be valued and treasured.

 

People know you love them by how you treat them all year round. Do you genuinely listen to them? Are you a caring witness to their life? Do you share laughter and tears? These are the real gifts of life, and are never found under a Christmas tree.

 

For me, I have already received the best present I could hope for. My family and I were in our local bookshop and café yesterday having our weekly hot drink. We go here for a change of scenery, and as a treat for working hard during the week. It’s our little sanctuary ~ home away from home. Paul made a joke about something (nothing new there) and we all started laughing. An elderly lady, who also comes here regularly, said “You’re such a happily family. You’re always joking and laughing.” The words of a stranger meant more to me than she’ll ever know. Maybe I’ll tell her next time I see her. You see, the only thing I ever want is to have a happy family. And I believe that is what other many other parents want as well.

 

Happiness does not come from stressing over gift buying or getting into debt. It does not come from ‘celebrating’ Christmas with in-laws when we don’t want to share their company. Happiness comes from within. It comes when we live with integrity and stay true to ourselves. This is the greatest gift we can ever hope to receive, and we can have this all year round. Every day can feel ‘holy’. Christmas, to me, is about the laughter and smiles we share with those we love.

 

A credit card is a misnomer. It’s a DEBT card. If ever there was something to be included on the national curriculum, it’s this: credit cards mean you don’t have money. They are an illusion. Somehow we think it’s a badge of honour to have a credit card. Sorry, folks, it’s not. It’s a manipulative system designed to control people.

 

I’m always being baled up by someone in town near the post office or supermarket trying to get me to sign up to their credit card. They act like they’re doing me a favour, and can’t quite accept that I’m not interested.

 

The very thing that people think they’re buying with their DEBT card ~ happiness, will soon become stress when they struggle to make minimum monthly payments. Christmas-debt hangovers last a long time.

 

Some people argue that they use their cards wisely and pay them off in full each month. Why use them at all then?

 

My gift to you is the wish that you have a debt-free Christmas, surrounded by people you love and who love you. May you feel joy and laughter. May you remember those people in the world who don’t have a roof over their head or food in their belly. I ask you this not to ignite guilt, but so that you can fully appreciate what you have in your life. So that you give thanks. And so that your prayers may offer a healing balm, at the deepest level, of the lives of those less fortunate.

 

I don’t believe the world is going to end on December 21^st, as suggested by some who promote the end of the Mayan calendar. I believe it is a time when we (humanity) will start to realise we’re all connected: That one person’s pain is everyone’s pain. That one person’s wealth is everyone’s wealth. It is our belief that we’re all separate from each other which brings us the most hurt, pain and discontent.

 

There’s an American Indian tribe which has a practice whereby at the end of the year the person in the village who has acquired the most wealth that year gives it all away. I, for one, can see a practice like that bringing radical changes to the economy. Not sure the high earners would appreciate it though…

 

I wish you a festive season where you are able to give thanks for your friends, family, home, the food on your table, and that you’re able to enjoy the wonders of this incredible planet. It might all be a ‘dream within a dream’ but while we’re here on Mother Earth, let us enjoy her, and share her gifts wisely. After all, EVERY present we buy or make comes from Mother Earth in some form or another. Some of her gifts will appear as wood, paper or fabric; others will be more radically disguised in the form of plastic. May you be drawn to her easily recognisable gifts this Christmas.